1.FIND COMFORT IN YOUR MEMORIES.
The memories you have of your child are a gift that no one can take away from you. Allow those memories to bring a smile to your face and peace to your heart as you move forward in your journey. Treasured memories have a way of planting themselves so deeply in our souls that we can retrieve them for the rest of our lives whenever we need them.
What are some of your favourite memories of your child?
2. LOOK FOR PEACE IN NATURE.
It is amazing how easily we can take our natural surroundings for granted, and forget how peaceful it can be. There is beauty in the sunshine and the rainbows, the birds and the dragonflies that can be very healing.
No matter what the season, take some time to sit outdoors and let your senses come alive to the beauty.
Try to see something, hear something or smell something that you haven’t noticed for a while.
3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH OPTIMISM.
In our busy world, it becomes easy for us to get caught up in the negativity of others. Many bereaved parent support groups I have found on Facebook focus mainly on the heartbreak and deaths of our children, rather than focusing on their lives.
Rather than concentrating on the fact that my son, Garrett, died, I try to focus on remembering his life and the memories that he has given me.
Try to find one thing each day that earns your gratitude; examples I found early in my journey were, the sunshine, warm tea, a good friend, and a healing book. You many even choose to write about them in a journal.
4.WRITE IN A JOURNAL.
Writing in a journal can be very healing. Writing provides an outlet for emotions that you may not know how to cope with. A journal can be a place to reflect that will also allow you to gain perspective about your circumstances.
The best part about a journal is that it will never judge your thoughts and if you are honest in it, your heart will feel lighter and you will begin to heal.
5.CONNECT WITH OTHER BEREAVED PARENTS.
No one understands your heartache better right now than another bereaved parent. There is an unspoken understanding that exists between us, and strangely enough, it can feel very comforting.
If you do not personally know any parents who have lost a child, look for opportunities to connect with other parents. The Compassionate Friends is a national organization for bereaved parents that has hundreds of chapters all around the world. They hold regular sharing meetings where you can meet other parents who share the same hurts as you. A quick Google search can help you find a meeting near you.
Many funeral homes also offer after care programs for grievers, though sometimes these groups are for general bereavement and are not specific to child loss. I have found the most comfort from groups geared towards parents.
Melanie Delorme is a bereaved mom who helps other grieving parents navigate their grief, so they feel less alone and can find joy again.
After her 8-year-old son, Garrett, was killed in a hunting accident, Melanie started to write to cope with her hurting heart.
She shares regularly published a Monday Mourning Message on her Facebook page for bereaved parents. Find them here: https://www.facebook.com/AfterTheFlowersDie/
Melanie is the author of After the Flowers Die: A Handbook of Heartache, Hope and Healing After Losing a Child.
Read a free excerpt on Amazon using the “look inside” feature.